I hugged the man who murdered my father.

Restorative Justice supports victims

"You can experience incredible trauma and it is not your fault, and a lot of people will say, 'Well why is it on me to forgive when I didn't do anything?"  

“But I would say to that, every time you give that incident or that person power you are inflicting more damage on yourself, so you are re-traumatising yourself, and in many ways, you are giving that person continued power over your life."

Candice Mama’s father, Glenack Masilo Mama, died when she was just 8 months old. He was murdered. She had always known that her father had been murdered and that the murderer was called Eugene de Kock, a notorious commander of the Vlakplaas police unit which was responsible for torturing and murdering black anti-apartheid activists.

Confessions of Apartheid’s Assassins

Glenack was a black member of the Pan Africanist Congress and his murder was documented in a book kept my Candice’s mother: Confessions of Apartheid’s Assassins.

Candice said: "Every time people would come over to the house she would ask me to go get this book, and people would cry and I'd hear screaming. 

"I'd hear all these odd reactions, or at least what I considered odd at the time and I just thought to myself 'I know my dad is in this book, but I want to know, why is he inciting these reactions?'"

After she overheard the page her mother and her friends were going to she decided she’d look when she got the chance. That chance happened to be the following week, when her mother went out shopping and she saw a traumatising photograph of her father’s burnt body, clutching the steering wheel of a car.

"In my mind, immediately I connected the fact that this was my father, this was how he died and he [Eugene de Kock] is the person who did it. And because I knew what I did was wrong, that I wasn't allowed to open that book, I held it within myself."

In 2014, the National Prosecuting Authority contacted Candice’s mother to ask if the family would like to take part in a victim-perpetrator dialogue and meet Eugene de Kock.

How Restorative Justice helped Candice

Read more about Candice’s story and how Restorative Justice helped her.

Candice has since written a book entitled Forgiveness Redefined.

Start a conversation

We’d love to talk to you about how we can find a solution for you.

or simply call us on 01772 842109

What people say about Restorative Solutions

I'm so glad I am working with RJ. I don't know who would listen to me if it wasn’t for you.
A Person Harmed by Crime
RJ is very underrated and I certainly think we should be using it more.
A Professional who Referred Someone into our Service
Very satisfied – it’s been a great service. A worthwhile process for me and I hope for the offenders. Staff have been great and I would like to thank them.
A victim
It was the right thing to do. Both victims told me to let go of what happened. I didn't want to hear it but they both forgave me and said I should move on. I have taken that on and thought about it and I have come to terms with what happened. You've helped me significantly. It's as though my head has been lifted of a gigantic weight.
An Offender
Thanks for your time today. I feel like you understand R so well, I really hope you can help him to learn how to be happy.
Feedback from a family in East Kent
Restorative Justice offers a unique opportunity for victims and survivors to move on from and overcome the trauma that can be left with them after experiencing crime. I am exceedingly proud of the work that the team at Restorative Solutions do in supporting our community. We should always consider the needs of victims of crime and this service exemplifies that sentiment and allows so many to put behind them what can be the worst experience of their lives.
Marc Jones, Lincolnshire Police and Crime Commissioner and Chair of the Association of Police and Crime Commissioners.

Case Studies

An Attempted Burglary: Restorative Justice Case Study

When Joanne and her husband had just gone to bed, they heard a really loud bang downstairs. They immediately thought som...

A Workplace Assault: Restorative Justice Case Study

Nick worked at a clothing shop. When he noticed Glenn, a customer, shoplifting, Nick stepped in to challenge him. The po...

A Manslaughter: Restorative Justice Case Study

We received a referral from a Victim Liaison Officer who was working on a manslaughter case. The grandmother advised the...

A Robbery: Restorative Justice Case Study

This Restorative Justice case saw Jamie and Ruth openly communicate in a face-to-face conference. Years before, Jamie at...

A Non-Recent Child Sexual Abuse: Restorative Justice Case Study

The victim in this non-recent child sexual abuse case was a 56-year-old woman called Lisa. Her father sexually abused he...

A Creeper Burglary: Restorative Justice Case Study

This was a case of an overnight “creeper” burglary in a residential area where the harmer had gained access through an u...

Our Partners

Insights, Articles & Advice

The Victims' Commissioner Has Launched the 2022 Victims' Survey

Dame Vera Baird QC, the Victims’ Commissioner, has launched the 2022 Victims’ Survey. The survey should only take around...

Read More

An Excellent RJ Conference in Merseyside

An Excellent RJ Conference in Merseyside...

Read More

The 5 ‘R’s of Restorative Justice: Are They Always Applicable?

The 5 ‘R’s of Restorative Justice: Are They Always Applicable?...

Read More

Get News and Updates

Start a conversation 01772 842109